New Stock Market Terms

Some Friday afternoon fun originally posted by Barry Ritholtz at The Big Picture:

A fun email circulating trading desks, worthwhile as an informal measure of sentiment:

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

Comments

  1. nice list.

    my colleague posted another similarly good one on his Tickerville site..
    http://www.tickerville.com/index.php/site/comments/you_know_you_are_a_trader_when/

    i linked to him on mine.. http://www.manypeaks.com/2008/06/11/guilty-as-charged/

  2. Skip Reardon says:

    Good ones here, Adam!

    Unfortunately, way too many of them are….more accurate than I’d like to admit..

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